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How to accept a criticism

How to accept a criticism

Are you one of those who criticize? Or those who feel criticized?

No one is really safe from both sides, because at some point in our lives, even in a pious way, we have criticized and vice versa. It is logical that living in society does not always seem good to us what the neighbor does, another thing is that we spend the day criticizing, because if so, friend, you really have a problem.It is not the same to criticize, than to live a life that does not belong to us.

People's life is as it is. No one has the right to decide for others and less to get into their lives. You can always criticize but keeping the line that separates criticism from the lives of others. But why do we criticize? Do we carry it in our DNA? Well, the best ... How to accept a criticism? Not everyone knows how to do it. Do we have to accept all the criticisms? Anyway, criticism is part of our society, from the house of the neighbor to the lives of celebrities.

To begin the criticism can be negative or constructive and, therefore, the first thing is to differentiate what person does it and with what possible intention. People do not always criticize in order to disqualify, and therefore it may be that a criticism that in principle seems inappropriate may be useful to improve certain aspects, attitudes and even behaviors that we were not aware of and that if we modify, we may Go well, both individually and socially. You have to think that the person who criticizes has his own perception and his point of view and, whether appropriate or not, they are watching us from outside. They have their prism and wrong or not there it is.

Therefore, if you have already learned to differentiate types of criticism, if it is positive and constructive accept it without palliative, analyze and study how to put it into practice, listen to what they say and respect the turn of speech.

Obviously, if the criticism is negative Intentionally to harm, our self-esteem will be affected, in these cases it will be a good idea to put a barrier and ignore the disqualification, not to enter the dialectic game and above all to feel confident in ourselves. It is much better not to counterattack with reproaches, because if we answer we will seem offended and not that does not suit us. If you are one of those who can not remain silent, answer but giving the reason and saying, it can be ... you will see the face that is left to that person.

If the criticism is positive and you think that it can help you improve, ask for more details from the person who has done it, that is, to argue with you because he thinks about you and explain to you, according to her, how you could improve. It does not mean that you then have to put it into practice, but it may be useful to consider its arguments.

We do not always know when we will be criticized. So anticipate and when you go to say or do something, be alert, but calmly. It will not catch you so much of surprise and it will even be funny when it happens ... and then you will think ... I knew it.

Critical Difference: Everyone criticizes, but not everyone criticizes the same, nor are they the same people. For example: If a technology professional criticizes your way of dealing with him, try to get something positive out of his comments, since that person is dedicated to it. You learn a lot from other people, and even if they criticize you unintentionally, sometimes they are helping you without realizing it. The same, it even does you a favor. Exploit your knowledge, take advantage.

But what if you criticize?

Well, if you do it for good, in moderation and positively, with respect and education. Don't use criticism to belittle or break your frustrations. If you are going to say something, that is better than silence, because once your viperine tongue has started, there may be no going back. Try not to criticize from behind, although we know that it will not always be so. And if you do, watch how you do it, because you could be the same currency and would not like it, right?

Our criticism is to reproach others for not having the qualities that we believe we have. Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer and playwright.

DAVID ÁLVAREZ.
Social Psychologist / Therapist